Honoring Our Leaders

It's the 3rd day of CNY, we went to Pastor's house to Pai nian. Prior to this, i sent him a long email about my raw feelings about work, church, and my life. Put it plainly, it was a negative email filled with a laundry list of defeats, failures, confusions, disillusions etc. I felt that I had to let him know how I was feeling, I did not wait for those thoughts to be processed, because I knew I was on the road to spiritual suicide. I may not even get a chance to process those thoughts, I could end up dead spiritually sooner than I think.

That day, pastor shared to the us about honoring our leaders from the bible. [+]

1. David honored Saul by not killing Saul and repented for ambushing him.

2. Paul shared to the church in Corinth of how the Macedonian Churches gave to him monetarily, even beyond their means while they were going through severe situations (2 Corinth 8). They urgently pleaded with Paul for the priviledge of sharing in his service to the saints. Paul encouraged the church in Corinth to excel too in this grace of giving. (Do read the account for yourself).

3. Onesimus was in prison when he was led to salvation by Paul (Read Philemon). After regaining his freedom by serving a prison sentence on a count of dessertion as a slave from his owner, Philemon denied his rights as a free man and stayed behind to serve Paul in prison. Paul in turn, sent Onesimus back to Philemon and asked Philemon to receive him back, not as a slave, but as a brother.

The Ang Baos of CNY symbolises the act of giving in our culture. The bible is filled with instances where people gave, some their valuables to help the poor, some like our Lord, His life to save us. There are many ways of honoring our leaders. Giving oranges during CNY is one example of that. Pastor shared with us how we can honour our leaders meaningfully:

1. Giving of our time.
Taking the initiative to spending quality time with our leaders.
2. Acts of kindness and Service.
Meet our leaders' needs.
3. Being Accountable.
Allow your leaders to walk the stations in life with you.

Point no. 3 struck me most. FCBC is well known for our tradition and firm belief of strict accountability, especially when it comes to relationships and dating. Sometimes, we go through the same mechanical regurgitation of our deeds and misdeeds in our monthly reports or meet ups but forget that our leaders are more interested in the accountability of our hearts than our deeds. We cleverly disguise our struggles with rationales, answering our doubts and "solving" our struggles with politically correct and diplomatically labelled answers. We mask our emotions, numb our senses, pride ourselves as strong and stubbornly believe that we know what to do and we can handle it. Sometimes, the fact remains that we cannot. There are circumstances that are beyond our reach and influence. It is ok to admit to our leaders, pastors and God that we have hit the wall and can't go anywhere.

I am thankful that my pastors allow me to share my very raw sentiments of my struggles with them. Instead of giving me a good lecture on why I shouldnt be thinking what i am thinking, they love me and prayed for me. Cried with me, wiped my tears, walked with me. I see the reflection of God in them. It doesn't matter how raw, rough, cold, blunt, depressing my walk is now, they chose to come beside me, just as God did. When my heart rebelled and turned against Him, He covered my iniquities and shielded me. He sent my leaders to help me connect with the brokenness and emptiness in my life. To point to me that, there is a ray of hope, there is a sunshine worth of light.

I learnt something about honoring my leaders today. To share not just my deeds but my inner most struggles, not my outward expressions but my inward meditations. Not just the battles I fight outside but also the war that rages in me, inside. They are more interested in my heart and my eventual success, than scrutinizing my defeats and failures.

What is your accountability to your leaders like?

Teck